Life is a rollercoaster.

Apologies for the lack of blogging. Prudence has had a relatively rough go of it as of late, and blogging sort of slipped her mind. But it's a wonder what kind of catharsis one can achieve through the art of writing. That's why I've always been a writer I think!

That said, here's a quick run down of the good, the bad, and the ugly in my life:

The Good

We took a group of 21 to the March for Life from Smalltown, USA, including about a dozen high school students. It was pretty awesome to hear some of the students saying "Next year when we come back we have to ___________" ... so great!

Our motley crew...

I'm on the job market... and to date, while I haven't gotten any phone interviews or offers, I also haven't gotten any rejection letters either. So I guess that just means that I'm in academic limbo for the time being... There are worse places I could be.. so yay.

My niece-in-love was born on January 23 and she is such a blessing. I can't wait to meet her in person when I travel back to Another Small Town.

Sweet lil' niecey-poo!

The Bad

My life seems to be so out of whack (see THE UGLY) as of late. I need something to put some pep in my step, something to set afire to my work. I've started planning my life out again like I used to do, in hopes that that will spur some productivity!

The Ugly

Prudence's proposal defense of THE BIG PAPER was last week... a week ago from today actually. It was... ugly. But, it's better to be ugly at this stage in the game than ugly when I defend the whole thing... or get bogged down in data after passing a shoddy proposal. So... I have my work cut out for me...

(Sidenote: It's taken a week of reflection and thinking to get to this point. And I'll admit, I'm still a touch angry at how the defense situation transpired, but... it's all water under the bridge right now. I knew getting in to this that it wasn't going to be easy...)

And as a bonus, the amazing

I have some really great friends in my life. People have been praying for me for a long time, and when the verdict came last Thursday on the defense, they prayed even more fervently. They care about me. They huddle around me in times of distress. And they know who they are. And if any of you are reading this... I really, really thank you. I think the reason I got through this last week without breaking down and crying and wanting to quit school is the "safety net" of people I call my friends and family. (That, or I'm a really cold and bitter person... I didn't even cry when I saw Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close...)

All the words on this ad are true. It was an amazing movie!

It's as St. Thomas Aquinas said:

"There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship."

Wanted: CAKE. Cheese or Carrot.

Hello reader friends!

Just a quick update for now - life seems to be somewhat in a lull right now, but that promises not to last for long! So here's a bit about what's been going on in the life of Prudence Thorne...

The proposal defense for the BIG PAPER is a week from tomorrow. I think once that happens I might be able to breathe a HUGE sigh of a relief. And then also begin working on things again, which will make me feel like less of a bum.

Photo Cred: PhD Comics

This weekend, I'm accompanying the youth group from our churches in Smalltown, USA to Washington, DC for the March for Life. It'll be my 3rd march, and I'm looking forward to it!! It's always such a great feeling to peacefully demonstrate and speak out for those who can't defend themselves.

There are a plethora of movies coming out that I would like to see. These include, but are not limited to: Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, The Descendents, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, The Iron Lady, and Joyful Noise. I'm sure there are others that are missing from this list. Oh... and I don't really want to see it because I think it'll be good, but I think I may see Man on a Ledge because it looks so completely ridiculous. And I'm mad that they weren't more creative with naming the flick either...

And currently, I'd REALLY like this:

Except for with a $hit-ton more whipped cream

Or this:

Mmmmm.... carrot cake.

Because cake always makes the world a better place. I mean, right?

But this is what I'm going to have as there is no cheesecake or carrot cake in sight (SAD. DAY.):

Exciting, no?

Happy Wednesday, friends!!

Prudence's Challenge

I went to super early Daily Mass today (8:30AM ...ok so not super super early but still) which is typically offered by Older-Priest (at the more Churchy-church) in Smalltown, USA. And Father's homily today was awesome. It made ya think. And I love when homilies make me think.

Maybe it was because I was so tired because I was up and out for 8:30 Mass ON MY DAY OFF. [Yeah, that's right. No classes on Wednesdays. Nothing but time for me. Me and THE BIG PAPER.] But I closed my eyes and really listened to Father remind us that we need time for quiet. Like... real quiet.

From the age of 6 and under, I thought this image was that of God/Jesus. It's really the cover of Willie Nelson's Greatest Hits album.

How else are we supposed to hear God speak to us? In a world where we're constantly connected - always texting, always on the phone, always on Facebook or Twitter or what have you - how can we hear God speak to us with all of the distractions?

For me, I used to use Adoration as an hour that I knew I had each week to sit with Our Lord and just listen to Him and to read His word. Now that Adoration has been canceled in Smalltown (and has been since August - sad day), I go to Daily Mass. But, I still think I need that time with the JC in Adoration. My behavior (see my last post) says that God might have some things to say to me... but only if I make time to listen. And really listen.

Papa Ratzi

So... let's see what happens. Today, 1/11/12, I'm challenging myself to at least 15-30 minutes of quiet time with spiritual reading or Adoration (if the time presents itself that I can go hang out with JC) a day to try to curb some of the anxiety and meh-ness I've been feeling as of late. There's never been a better time to challenge myself in this way...

And as we know with time to myself for thinking and reflecting, there's no telling what might cross my mind..

Catholic Guilt

Apologies for the slight break in blogging! Prudence was traveling the last couple of days to return to Small Town, USA to get some work done before Christmas. Hopefully. Organist-Friend has to remember to guilt me daily to make sure I'm actually getting work done! Ok, Organist-Friend?

And since I mentioned it, let's talk about guilt! Specifically -- CATHOLIC GUILT. What the heck is it? I don't really know for sure, but I'm most certain that I suffer from it...

According to one of my favorite contemporary references, Urban Dictionary, Catholic guilt is:

 ... A fully developed and overly functioning conscience that has been to the other side and back. [It] will flirt on the fence with Catholic guilt, constantly deciding, approving, regretting and dismissing. It is a term used to describe the significant internal reaction to a seemingly insignificant external effect generated by a publicly unnoticeable perturbing cause... Regardless of the pious weight associated with Catholic Guilt, it is often a feeling gestated through a morally abject thought that is hardly ever even realized and/or acted upon. It is an internalized battle bearing existential results.

[ EDITOR'S NOTE: BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU LOOK UP ON URBAN DICTIONARY. IT'S NOT THE Uh... PUREST? OF WEBSITES. You have been warned. :) ]

Wow. What a definition! (There was more, but I edited it down for length and vulgarity [See Editor's Note]. No adult content here, folks!) But for really... Catholic guilt, to some extent, really has to exist. I am FOR-EV-ER feeling guilty about things... even things that I'm not guilty of! Case in point: Today whilst driving interstates, two state police cars came into view in my rearview (at separate times)... and I got this sinking feeling in my stomach (both times) -- fear and guilt! I checked the ol' speedometer just to be sure...and yup, Prudence was drivin' like a grandma! (No offense to any grandmas...) 5 under the speed limit!! (In my defense though, it was mountainous and my little 4 cylinder can only take so much...) But pfft. Feeling guilty just for the sake of feeling guilty, it seemed.

Of course, that Catholic guilt also rears it's ugly li'l head at opportune times... like when you burn someone and then realize that maybe the joke wasn't so funny to the 'jokee' or if you're short with someone and then realize that you've been too harsh. Annndddd you can't blame that on 'not having enough caffeine' because you should know how to act with or without your coffee fix (Yup, I've done that)...

Photo Cred: Natalie Dee (one of my most favorite comic websites!)

But... if you really think about it, having Catholic guilt, as annoying as it may be, is really a blessing. It keeps you in check... makes you think twice about the things that you do... and if you're lucky, makes you feel enough remorse that you make a note to go to Confession to get rid of the stain of sin -- even if it's just venial. No one wants to carry around alot of sin in their hearts. Because sin sucks.

And Padre Pio gives us hope (because he was awesome at that):

Stop entertaining those vain fears. Remember it is not feeling which constitutes guilt but the consent to such feelings. Only the free will is capable of good or evil. But when the will sighs under the trial of the tempter and does not will what is presented to it, there is not only no fault but there is virtue.

Photo Cred: An Italian Website that I think is about Padre Pio's beatification BUT I've only taken Italian for 10 weeks so I'm not so sure...

Yay for Pio! And yay for productive guilt and virtue!