"So, your mom died..."

It's hard to be "the kid whose parent died" and I'm not even a kid. Not really, not anymore. However, I firmly believe that we all still need our parents and are their little kids, no matter how big we get.

It's hard, though, because oftentimes people don't know how to deal with you after a major loss. Or they're afraid you're going to break down at any moment. Or they stop talking to you altogether because they just dot know what to say anymore. Or they're afraid you're going to unleash the floodgates on them and never stop talking. And I feel like this may actually be even worse for us kids-who-aren't-really-kids anymore.

I'm 27. Still single. Fiercely independent, but still dependent in many ways. Crazy, but normal. Spontaneous, but cautious. I live alone. I have many acquaintances, but few real friends. I know I'm alot stronger than I give myself credit, but I also know that I need other people to help me through this. I am afraid of letting people get too close, and I'm not really sure why. I've lost best friends before. And my mother was truly my best friend. So filling the un-fillable void that she has left is impossible, but I have to move on.

But then again, it's not even been four months. I've been told I'm handling "it" really well. But what is "it" ? Her death? The fact that she can't come back? The fact that I won't have her for any other major milestones? And... have I really handled it all that well? Only time will really tell, and I'm nowhere near my new normal. Not yet.

So... Now what?

Life and all its challenges

I figure it's time to come clean with you all. It'll help to explain yours truly's absence these past few months, and the subject matter may become a focus of this wonderful bloggy space for the foreseeable future.

In late November, my mother passed away. Her death came as a shock after a very brief fight with a terrible, terrible cancer. And by very brief, I mean we got a diagnosis of cancer and she died 10 days later.

Photo Cred: ihatecancer.net

Talk about not having time to process that  shit  ....erm.... stuff.

It threw our family for a loop, especially because the day she was given the terrible diagnosis was the day that Prudence's handsome neffie, Mr. Li-man, was born. The joy we should have had celebrating the beginning of his life was tainted by the strain of knowing we didn't have much time left with his Nanna. They did get to meet in what was the most touching moment of my life... Our family gathered in a Hospice room as Nanna and grandson met on his 5th day of life. We smiled. We cried. But most importantly, we prayed.

Photo Cred: National Catholic Register

You can imagine the questions I had for God in the 10 day period as my mother fought for her life and in the days, now months, after her death. My mother's life was taken all too quickly from us. Selfishly, I thought of all of the things that I wouldn't have my mom around for - my impending graduation (if I can finish The Big Paper), my wedding, my children...  This, too, is why it's been difficult to laugh... and perhaps even make God laugh these last few months.

So... in an effort to deal with my mind which has been running crazy with thoughts about mom, about life, about my future, about... everything... I figure what better way than to turn to this space and perhaps try to make God laugh again as I work through.... everything. He knows, I've not had the easiest go of it. I've made mistakes and been downright angry. Grief is a very stranger emotion that I don't know anyone ever fully grasps. Ever.

But... I'm trying. Trying to make sense of everything and trying to achieve a new normal without getting to talk to the person I ran everything by, the person who I told everything to... my best friend, my mother.

"Mothers and daughters are joined at the heart; no matter the distance, they're never apart."

Habemus Papam!

We have a new pope! I'm trying to figure out how to get Blogger to let me update my pictures so that Papa Emeritus Benny can get his new title, and Pope Francis (or Papa Paco as I think I shall call him) can take his place among the hall of popes along the right side of this here bloggy space.



Photo Cred: Catholic Vote
Fr. Guido over there to the right doesn't look too enthused...Smile GUIDO!

But Blogger is being a pain in the tukkus right now. Or maybe it's my office computer. Who knows. Once I figure it out, it'll be updated.

But until then... enjoy Papa Paco and his cute little humble wave hi:

Photo Cred: Catholic Memes

Leading Lady of My Own Life!

Things that I've reflected on since last week's post where I asked

"What makes you laugh? What makes you smile? Why do you care? Or why don't you care?" -Prudence Thorne, last Friday (March 8, 2013)

(Yes, I'm quoting myself. All bloggers do that. We're so humble.)

Honestly.. I need to be on a journey to re-discover these things.

So: What makes me laugh? Funny jokes, silly mistakes, people being goofy, funny movies, nature's mishaps.... those things make me laugh. But I don't feel like I've REALLY laughed for a while.

Photo Cred: Be Active Decatur!

What makes me smile? Beautiful days, friends, babies (especially my neffie, Mr. Li-man as my Baby J calls him), geese, fancy dresses, and awesome shoes.



Silly Goose

Why do I care? HUM DINGER here!!! I care... SO MUCH... about alot of things. And people. Probably more than most people really know. Too much in some cases. If you're my friend, I would literally do anything to help you out. Sometimes this deep way of caring is problematic when people don't seem to care that you care so much. They don't acknowledge it all the time or.. I don't even know. But I also care too much about what other people think of me and what I do. I've let it control and dominate how I act/react, how I behave, and what I do. And you know what? I shouldn't. Because, I'm pretty awesome just as I am, regardless of what other people think!

I care. Yup.

But.. it takes constant reminders to myself that I am. I work on this all the time. More so now that I've identified it as a problem that I've been dealing with for at least a year, if not my whole life.

One of the cutest actor-old men of all time, Eli Wallach, portraying Arthur in that Christmas movie that I can't think of the name of right now but has Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet and Jude Law and Jack Black in it as well (funny I can think of every actor and character... but not the name of the movie...I could look it up but I don't want to)...

D'aww look how cute Eli Wallach is. Photo Cred: Scribe Meets World

ANYWAY..  Eli Wallach playing this old man, Arthur, who used to be a screenwriter, tells his new friend, Kate Winslet (who does everything for everyone but doesn't take care of herself so much) that she needs gumption like all the leading ladies of old Hollywood films. And that's what I need too... Kate Winslet's character makes the bold claim:

"I should be the leading lady of my own life!"

And gosh darn it... she's right. I should be. So... here we go!

The name of the movie is The Holiday, I google searched the quote to make sure I had it right, and it came up. Teehee.

Time to Make God laugh again

Haven't posted anything here in a while.

If we're being honest, I haven't been happy in a while either. But as I sat and watched time slowly pass by being unhappy, life began to pass me by too.

What makes you laugh? What makes you smile? Why do you care? Or why don't you care? Thoughts have blown through my mind in the months that it's been since I've allowed myself to blog that I should have blogged about, but I just let life pass me by.

Well no more, gosh darn it!! Those thoughts need an escape. I've thought for far too long and not shared myself which has become a problem. I've been a slave to my own mind, my own demons, and I'm hoping that by "picking up the pen again" and blogging, maybe I'll achieve some sort of release.

And ... make God laugh again. He knows I've needed it!

Things won't always be happy-go-lucky as your dear friend Prudence has been through quite alot in the last 6 months. But it promises to be a journey of self-discovery, ups and downs, and hopefully life lessons. So... Sit back kids. Let's see what happens!

Unrelated. Procrastination.

Tonight I had coffee after 9PM. Needless to say, I won't be sleeping much (or soon). All the more time to catch up on blogging (when I should be working on my lecture for tomorrow's class, eh?)

Totally me right now.

Oh, the glamorous life of an overworked and underpaid adjunct. Wonder how big the bags under my eyes will be tomorrow?

Photo Cred: Natalie Dee

Redo? Can I get a redo?

Hello friends of Prudence Thorne! I AM STILL ALIVE!! A three month hiatus from blogging really is uncalled for. Perhaps that's why I've gone through such a dreary state of life as of late. I really haven't felt like I've made God laugh in a while, and I guess that's why I haven't been posting here... It's a sad state of affairs, dear friends. But I speak truth.

Van Gogh's Sorrowing Old Man ['At Eternity's Gate'], 1890

The last few months have been brutal, to say the least, for me. And most of the brutality is/was self-inflicted. Prudence has a tendency to dwell on negativity, to be somewhat pessimistic, and to get wrapped up in all of that that she forgets to look to the bright side of life. I think it happens alot when I forget to be myself and get caught up in the busyness and mundane details of it all - of life.

Photo Cred: FanPop

This summer saw me working three jobs PLUS singing for weddings and funerals on the side, planning for a new job in the fall (I'm going into my third week and rocking the socks off of it by the way so BOOYAH), and YUP, still working (or at least thinking about... productivity wasn't at an all time high...) on that BIG PAPER. Letting all that add up and add in the stresses of home life (please pray for Mama Prudence - she's had a rough go of it for the last six months and still needs all the prayers she can get) that makes for no fun at all.

Photo Cred: PhD Comics - Piled Higher and Deeper

So it's time to put on my sassy pants and get back into the swing of being downright AWESOME because that's what Prudence does best. No more time for gloom and despair! None at all. From this point forward, Prudence will be... well.. rejuvenated and sassified (as Honey Boo Boo says!)

Photo Cred: SomeEcards

So it is written, so let it be!

Trinity Sunday marks Prudence's return to MAKING GOD LAUGH!

Yesterday was Trinity Sunday, and Prudence was feeling a bit on the tired side, so she didn't really do anything too productive apart from "Double Mass-it," as my Canadian-Friend has dubbed my behavior of going to more than one weekend Mass (and he also says I'm nuts for that... and I just say I need all the grace I can get so Boom on that one, eh?)

Self-explanatory.
NOTE: I <3 my Canadian friend. And S/O to my Canadian follower and fellow blogger, TH2!

And (soapbox moment)....

Photo Cred: Myanderings

Can I just say that doing this does not make me a nutcase? I have commitments - I sing in the 8:30 choir; but sometimes, I get up and I'm barely functioning that early in the morning and THEN you put me up in a choir loft and have about 100-150 people (and babies) between me and what I'm supposed to be focusing on ... it just doesn't work out! So.. I added another Mass later in the evening that many of the Youth I work with attend. I sometimes sing in the choir (but dislike that because I get easily distracted there too AND the choir area is way over on the side and I can't see... which means I don't focus...) and also serve as an EM and have filled in as lector as needed. Yes, I realize that I've fulfilled my obligation by attending the 8:30 Mass, BUT if I'm too busy staring at the baby that's being all cute right below me and being distracted by people tearing checks out of their checkbooks for offertory during the Homily right beside me, don't judge me for wanting to go back so I can pay attention at the later Mass time. Gosh. (/soapbox moment).

See. Cute babies are distracting. But she didn't distract me at Church. This mah Godbaby. Loves her.

A*N*Y*W*A*Y... I spent my Trinity Sunday fighting exhaustion (it's the end of the quarter and it's been a trying, busy, and emotional roller coaster last few weeks). I was going to go for a run, but decided my Casper white-skin needed some Vitamin-D and so I sat out by my apartment complex's pool on what didn't feel to be a very warm day, reading The Spiritual Legacy of Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity (which seemed appropriate given it was Trinity Sunday and all...)

Here's Sister Mary! But she won't turn the right way... She's saved "hotdog style" but she keeps uploading all "hamburger-like" so... Meh.

It's funny these books I've turned to to read for spiritual guidance, no matter what happens in life or where I start reading from in the book, there always seems to be something that speaks to me on a profound level. It happened with Diary: Divine Mercy in my Soul too (which ::sheepish:: I stopped reading after Notebook 1. I'll pick it back up some time, I'm sure...) Perhaps I'll dedicate another post to that...

Jesus I Trust in You!

So now, Prudence is starting FINALS WEEK (and for the first time in her college and post-graduate carrer - HAS NO FINALS! I just give one on Thursday yay!) and diving headlong into dissertation work for the summer. And planning a mission trip to Appalachia for our Youth Group. And singing for some weddings. And moderating an online class. And planning for teaching in the fall. And moving. ..... Here I come summer. Full steam ahead!

And... I'm disproportionately "tanned" (READ: look like a lobster with my Celtic #1 skin) from my not very warm but high UV index day of poolside reading... I'm sure that makes God laugh...

Catholic Media Promotion Day Pt II (but late, whoops)

I kind of missed the boat on Catholic Media Promotion Day part II, but it's better late than never, I suppose, right?

The second part of CMPD was supposed to be reflection on our purpose... what do we do as Catholics involved with social media? I've been thinking about this along and along, and I think it finally struck me today with the readings from today's Mass - it's from 1 Peter. Here... let's look:

"Beloved:
The end of all things is at hand.
Therefore be serious and sober-minded
so that you will be able to pray.
Above all, let your love for one another be intense,
because love covers a multitude of sins.
Be hospitable to one another without complaining.
As each one has received a gift, use it to serve one another
as good stewards of God's varied grace.
Whoever preaches, let it be with the words of God;
whoever serves, let it be with the strength that God supplies,
so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ,
to whom belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Beloved, do not be surprised that a trial by fire is occurring among you,
as if something strange were happening to you.
But rejoice to the extent that you share in the sufferings of Christ,
so that when his glory is revealed
you may also rejoice exultantly." 

 [The emphasis is mine, obvi.]

Catholic Media Promotion Day 2012 Logo

This spoke to me today in a serious way... I feel as though it kind of sums up the last few months of my life. I haven't really felt like I've made God laugh in any particular way lately. Things have just been... serious. Many things have caused it... and so, I ask for you, my friends, to please send up prayers for

• My mother... that she returns to her normal self soon after breaking her hip and having to recover from the corrective surgery, and that the issues she's having with her back are fixable so that she can enjoy the life she once had

and

• Our youth minister in Smalltown USA... that she returns to her health after a harrowing month following a stroke and aneurysm and that in her absence, I may continue to lead the Catholic Teens in this area to the best of my ability

Catholicism: Journey Around the World!  I haven't read this yet or been a part of the series but it's coming to Smalltown USA in the fall, or so I hear....

And that... this... that I have a support group of people who don't even really know me, necessarily, can gather around in a time of need. And that's what our purpose as Catholics in social media is all about. To be a support group, a community that is there for one another.

We are the universal Church. Catholic means universal. We need to support one another in our faith journeys. We need to be brothers and sisters in Christ.

Catholic Media Promotion, Pt. 1

Prudence returns! We hope! Oy. Sorry for my very long hiatus from blogging... there's no excuse really. And I hope that I'll continue to ride the wave of blogging with this 2nd Annual Catholic Media Promotion Day...

Tomorrow is the beginning of a two-day event to for Catholic Media Promotion. Tomorrow, Catholic Media Users around the globe are falling silent in order to contemplate their purpose as media scholars. Despite the fact that I've appeared to have fallen silent for quite some time, I hope to use Catholic Media Promotion Day to spring back into action with my blogging! Because I miss it. I hope (if any of you are left) that you miss me a little bit too!

So, that said, with "Catholic Media Promotion Day - Part 1: #SilenceandWord Campaign" I will (try) to do the same as my other brothers and sisters in Christ, spending the time I would normally be using social media contemplating what God is calling me to do as a Catholic Media scholar, especially as I continue to work on my dissertation on the same topic. Thursday, we'll again take up our media of choice, explaining the fruits of this silent contemplation

B16!! He's my fave...

"Silent contemplation immerses us in the source of that Love who directs us towards our neighbors so that we may feel their suffering and offer them the light of Christ, his message of life and his saving gift of the fullness of love." - Pope Benedict XVI

Embarassed.

Prudence took a wee little break from the blogosphere without really meaning to!

Sorry about that! I can't promise to be back with a vengeance with my blogging, but... I'm going to try to make a concerted effort to blog more (especially since I'm teaching a social media class and showed this blog... and how little it's updated... to my students today. Oops.)

Like I could have and should have blogged about the time I went to pay rent and ended up giving the Leasing Manager the contact information for the RCIA program at Smalltown's parishes.

Or about my job interview (but I didn't get the job, sigh).

Or about how I got to finally meet my goddaughter and was present for her beautiful baptism.

Things are insanely busy as I try to navigate the 3rd year of my PhD program, searching for jobs, working a "secret" part-time job, teaching 4th grade CCD, working with high school youth kids, and leading the young adult group....

Oh and writing THE BIG PAPER. But I still think I make God laugh daily. Just because He knows what's up and is probably getting a kick out watching me try to figure it all out... so I hope to keep the posts a'coming! And be real. Because the last couple months have been real, yo.

"Leave the gun, take the cannoli..."

I keep thinking of things that I should come back and post here, but then I get busy doing other things (Oh, like uh.. SCHOOL) and I forget to keep Ol' Prudence updated! Sigh. I need to do better.

That said, I received some exciting news!! Cute little niecey-poo from my previous post? Well guess who's her Godmother?

Wee widdle baby smile!! <3

Yup. That'd be MEEEEE!! I'm so excited to watch her grow in faith. And help out as much as I can along the way. She'll be baptized near Another Smalltown in mid-March. And I'll actually get to be there. No proxy for me!! No no no noooooo way....

Sorry, a little Dreamgirls moment there...

til next time, friends!

Life is a rollercoaster.

Apologies for the lack of blogging. Prudence has had a relatively rough go of it as of late, and blogging sort of slipped her mind. But it's a wonder what kind of catharsis one can achieve through the art of writing. That's why I've always been a writer I think!

That said, here's a quick run down of the good, the bad, and the ugly in my life:

The Good

We took a group of 21 to the March for Life from Smalltown, USA, including about a dozen high school students. It was pretty awesome to hear some of the students saying "Next year when we come back we have to ___________" ... so great!

Our motley crew...

I'm on the job market... and to date, while I haven't gotten any phone interviews or offers, I also haven't gotten any rejection letters either. So I guess that just means that I'm in academic limbo for the time being... There are worse places I could be.. so yay.

My niece-in-love was born on January 23 and she is such a blessing. I can't wait to meet her in person when I travel back to Another Small Town.

Sweet lil' niecey-poo!

The Bad

My life seems to be so out of whack (see THE UGLY) as of late. I need something to put some pep in my step, something to set afire to my work. I've started planning my life out again like I used to do, in hopes that that will spur some productivity!

The Ugly

Prudence's proposal defense of THE BIG PAPER was last week... a week ago from today actually. It was... ugly. But, it's better to be ugly at this stage in the game than ugly when I defend the whole thing... or get bogged down in data after passing a shoddy proposal. So... I have my work cut out for me...

(Sidenote: It's taken a week of reflection and thinking to get to this point. And I'll admit, I'm still a touch angry at how the defense situation transpired, but... it's all water under the bridge right now. I knew getting in to this that it wasn't going to be easy...)

And as a bonus, the amazing

I have some really great friends in my life. People have been praying for me for a long time, and when the verdict came last Thursday on the defense, they prayed even more fervently. They care about me. They huddle around me in times of distress. And they know who they are. And if any of you are reading this... I really, really thank you. I think the reason I got through this last week without breaking down and crying and wanting to quit school is the "safety net" of people I call my friends and family. (That, or I'm a really cold and bitter person... I didn't even cry when I saw Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close...)

All the words on this ad are true. It was an amazing movie!

It's as St. Thomas Aquinas said:

"There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship."

Wanted: CAKE. Cheese or Carrot.

Hello reader friends!

Just a quick update for now - life seems to be somewhat in a lull right now, but that promises not to last for long! So here's a bit about what's been going on in the life of Prudence Thorne...

The proposal defense for the BIG PAPER is a week from tomorrow. I think once that happens I might be able to breathe a HUGE sigh of a relief. And then also begin working on things again, which will make me feel like less of a bum.

Photo Cred: PhD Comics

This weekend, I'm accompanying the youth group from our churches in Smalltown, USA to Washington, DC for the March for Life. It'll be my 3rd march, and I'm looking forward to it!! It's always such a great feeling to peacefully demonstrate and speak out for those who can't defend themselves.

There are a plethora of movies coming out that I would like to see. These include, but are not limited to: Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, The Descendents, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, The Iron Lady, and Joyful Noise. I'm sure there are others that are missing from this list. Oh... and I don't really want to see it because I think it'll be good, but I think I may see Man on a Ledge because it looks so completely ridiculous. And I'm mad that they weren't more creative with naming the flick either...

And currently, I'd REALLY like this:

Except for with a $hit-ton more whipped cream

Or this:

Mmmmm.... carrot cake.

Because cake always makes the world a better place. I mean, right?

But this is what I'm going to have as there is no cheesecake or carrot cake in sight (SAD. DAY.):

Exciting, no?

Happy Wednesday, friends!!

Toes... nose?

Oops, it's been a few days since my last post! Apologies, fearless readers!!

It's been a relatively MEH few days, but I'm hoping that I'm getting out of the rut, because you can't really make God laugh if you're a Debbie Downer all the time, right? Plus, who can be a Negative Nancy when you have green-teal toes with gold sparkles? Oh yeah, that's right. EXCITINGNESSS!!

Yup, that's a Prudence foot with SPARKLY TOESSSSS!

In other news, somehow it got to be 12:55am without my permission and I have an Italian quiz in the morning. I sat down to study at about 8:30 and apart from writing my composition for the quiz, I've studied pretty much nothing. Oopsies. I know my stuff fairly well though... so hopefully a quick review before said-quiz in the morning will be sufficient!

Soooooo.... this has been a pretty pointless update other than showing you my toes. But aren't they nifty! There will be more substance, hopefully, when it's a more reasonable hour...

Prudence's Challenge

I went to super early Daily Mass today (8:30AM ...ok so not super super early but still) which is typically offered by Older-Priest (at the more Churchy-church) in Smalltown, USA. And Father's homily today was awesome. It made ya think. And I love when homilies make me think.

Maybe it was because I was so tired because I was up and out for 8:30 Mass ON MY DAY OFF. [Yeah, that's right. No classes on Wednesdays. Nothing but time for me. Me and THE BIG PAPER.] But I closed my eyes and really listened to Father remind us that we need time for quiet. Like... real quiet.

From the age of 6 and under, I thought this image was that of God/Jesus. It's really the cover of Willie Nelson's Greatest Hits album.

How else are we supposed to hear God speak to us? In a world where we're constantly connected - always texting, always on the phone, always on Facebook or Twitter or what have you - how can we hear God speak to us with all of the distractions?

For me, I used to use Adoration as an hour that I knew I had each week to sit with Our Lord and just listen to Him and to read His word. Now that Adoration has been canceled in Smalltown (and has been since August - sad day), I go to Daily Mass. But, I still think I need that time with the JC in Adoration. My behavior (see my last post) says that God might have some things to say to me... but only if I make time to listen. And really listen.

Papa Ratzi

So... let's see what happens. Today, 1/11/12, I'm challenging myself to at least 15-30 minutes of quiet time with spiritual reading or Adoration (if the time presents itself that I can go hang out with JC) a day to try to curb some of the anxiety and meh-ness I've been feeling as of late. There's never been a better time to challenge myself in this way...

And as we know with time to myself for thinking and reflecting, there's no telling what might cross my mind..

I'm such a goober.

Lately, I've been feeling a little bit blue. And I think I've found the root(s) of it. But I don't want to really admit it, because it makes me feel like a bad person and a goober.

But, what's a blog for, especially when written under a pen-name, but to admit the things you don't really want to admit in real life?? 

So, the root(s), you ask?

JEALOUSY and SELF-CENTEREDNESS.

Yup, you got it.

I mean, obviously, the world should revolve around me. If I speak, you should listen and what's more, you should respond with what * I * want you to say. If I text you, you should text me back - immediately. You should hang out with me when I want, on my time table of course. And if I want to be alone, you should leave me alone, but still be at my beck and call when I decide that I want to talk to you. 

If only, right?

Actually, no. I'm glad life's not that way, although it seems very enticing for it to be such.

If the world revolved around just me (or you or you or you), it would be even more predictable, monotonous, and not-fun than it already is at times. There'd be no stimulation, no sense of wonder, no surprises. And what's worse, there'd be even less devotion, I fear, to Our Lord, because if we were what the world revolved around, there'd be no need for Him, no need for His sacrifice.

And without Christ, we are nothing. Think about it. He is the source and summit.

And that's why (I guess) it's okay that you don't answer my text immediately. Or if I'm not necessarily the top priority on everyone's list all the time. I'll let JC take that spot. Because he's awesome and stuff. yeah.

I'm still alive!

I survived skiing, even though this one girl in pink snow pants and a green jacket on a snowboard was all but asking me to punch her in the face when she turned and stopped in front of me not once, but on TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS, making me have to bail. Those were the only times I fell (on the slope -- I'm still not really great getting off the chair lift or toe rope...)

The slopes.

And since today is the last day I can legitimately say this to you as it is the last day of the season - MERRY CHRISTMAS my reader-friends! I hope your holiday season was happy and holy. I am so excited that we got to sing "Of the Father's Love Begotten" today at Mass. It's probably my favorite Christmas song.

Skiing!

This weekend, Prudence will be chaperoning the high school youth group's ski trip. (I know I'm 26 and all, but I don't feel old enough to be a chaperone.) We're going Up North near the big lake to meet up with another youth group for a weekend ' o ' fun.

Photo Cred: Disney Clips

Prudence has never skiied before, considering Another Smalltown, where she grew up, is well below the Mason-Dixon and located next to that big pond we refer to as the Atlantic. The one time the Thorne family tried to go skiing, it was 60 degrees with no fresh powder. Sad day. The Thorne family played Laser Tag instead. But never fear, fun was still had!

Not much skiing happens at the beach. Unless it's jet skis. Which I haven't done either. I should do that.

Prayers that Prudence comes home in one piece after this weekend. Everyone's been giving me ski tips. I'm open to suggestions about the best way to not run into trees or other ski-ers.  

Contemplative.

I've been feeling very contemplative as of late. I'm sure it has something to do with Christmas and the New Year but here I sit. Thinking.

Sometimes I think about funny things. And when I do, a huge smile spreads across my face. Which makes me wonder, if passersby notice - I wonder what THEY think I'm thinking.

Smiling like a J@ck@$$ chewin' briars...

Which makes me think - if people could REALLY hear my thoughts and know what goes on inside my head half of the time...Oh. wow. I don't think the world would be ready for Prudence Thorne.

Someone made a really profound statement in an off-the-cuff / in-passing kind of way to me yesterday, and it really hit home. We were talking about bad habits, and I said something along the lines of them hearing my voice in their head, like the WWJD saying, but instead it would be "What would Prudence say?" and they responded, "No no, it would be what would you think. You think way more than you speak. And it means more." ...I was at a loss. They were right. I do think alot. WAAAAAY more than I speak.

Sometimes I wonder if that's a problem - thinking and internalizing things more than voicing my opinion. I've always had two rules in my not-so-grown-up life:

1. Don't say anything unless you really mean it. Meaning, don't just talk to waste air or to fill space. Really think about what you're going to say.
   
   and
   
2. If people aren't listening or talk over you, don't waste your time talking because if they can't respect that you're trying to speak then they probably don't really care about what you have to say.

I live by these, and sometimes that makes me very quiet in conversations where people tend to run the show. Other times, people think I'm stuck up and rather itchy with a b at the beginning. But it's not that really. I just internalize and thing a whole heck of alot more than I talk.

Tehe. I kid. I'm not unstable.
Photo Cred: The Smoking Jacket

I also write more than I talk too.